Not surprisingly, I’ve been pondering thankfulness… and I’ve always considered myself a thankful person. And I think I am, but more accurately, I am a “thankful but” person. Not “thankful butt.” “Thankful but” means I think about all the blessings I’m grateful for, but there’s always a “but” there. Like, I’m so grateful for my family, but one son is far away in the Navy and we are no longer together as a “real” family since our divorce. So, it doesn’t feel like I have a family anymore… and then next thing I know I’m feeling sad and blue about my broken family. Which happened yesterday as I set the table for our Thanksgiving dinner. Just two places. And I’d invited my friend, but (see, there’s another one) he hadn’t responded, so I guessed he wasn’t coming. As I made the table pretty, the turkey was roasting in my oven, there were pies and stuffing and potatoes and cranberry and champagne, the weather was gorgeous and I have a view of the bay that is amazing, and there I am doing “but.” But only two of us. But my friend should have rsvp’ed. But one son is so far away and I worry about his safety. But what happened to the rest of my former husband’s family and why do they not include us in any celebrations anymore? And those stupid buts are bringing me down.
So, this has to stop. I need to be grateful for blessings. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts. Get over it, Lisa! God has been so good to me. I have a good relationship with both of my sons because I follow God’s wisdom and love on them. I have a warm, dry, lovely home. Yes, I’m by myself. That is a blessing, too. I have old friends and new friends. I have things to look forward to, creative juices are flowing, my health is better lately, and I can do whatever I want. My life is great, and I need to stop looking for buts. Lord, forgive me for the buts. Thank you for the blessings. Renew my mind so that I am always praising and thanking You!
Happy season of thanks-giving and joy, everyone!